It Started With A Bum?
by Broken Illusion
Summary: “his hands on the soft, round, plump buttocks of the absolutely bewildered Uchiha…” Neji is a Cute Fluffy White Eyed Angel, Lee has fun with Chocolate Pocky, Tenten can’t write love letters, Sasuke has a nice bum and an unlikely romance is born.


**It Started With A Bum **

**Chapter 1: It Started With Pocky  
Summary:** "his hands are on the soft, round, plump buttocks of the absolutely bewildered Uchiha……." In which Neji-chan is a Cute Fluffy White-Eyed Angel; Lee has fun with Chocolate Pocky, Tenten can't write love letters, Sasuke has a nice bum and an unlikely romance is born. Chaos & Mayhem ensues.  
**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Naruto, if I did, it'd be called "Sasuke".  
**Warning: **Super mild Sasuke x Neji…..because I love them together.  
**Author's Note: **It's been AGES since I wrote anything, I actually had this entire plot written out ages and ages ago but I just never got to editing it and stuff, yes; I irresponsibly contributed 0.00003 percent more crack to the Naruto world.  
**Definition Of Pocky: **An irresistibly tasty snack of chocolate cover biscuit sticks.

Neji-chan: I HATE YOU!

Broken Illusion: Awwww, don't hate me, you're so cute!!!

Sasu-chan: YOU'RE SUCH A PERVERT!!

Broken Illusion: Boo! Am not!

-DOUBLE GLARE-

Sasu/Neji-chan: I'll Byakugan/Sharingan your ass!!!!!!!!!!!

Broken Illusion: Go for it -smirks-

* * *

Neji stared at the letter on the table. 

_I don't believe it, she actually wrote that bloody letter…_

Neji read the letter again carefully. It was written in pink, with love hearts all over it.

_Yep, this is definitely HER handwriting…_

He rolled his eyes. So this dreadful day finally came and TENTEN had finally found the guts to confess to him about her eternal everlasting love for her little "Cute Fluffy White-Eyed Angel" _(AN: Yes, Tenten has great naming sense…coughs…yes…) _

Neji was about to demolish the letter into shreds when-

"NEJI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Lee flying through the window and striking his usual "Good Job" pose.

Neji glared at Lee.

"Please do not intrude upon people's property without permission, especially the MY property as it may lead to severe damage to you neck and back. You may never be able to use your legs and arms properly again if you cannot refrain from intruding on my property again, as it is stated in Law #33, 'Those who trespass shall be severely punished by the Konoha Government and will get Pocky sticks stuffed up their arse', also written in Law #128 it says that…." _(AN: Law #33 is NOT true, Pocky sticks will not be stuffed up peoples arses for trespassing…unless they changed the law or something... O.O) _

So while we let Neji lectures Lee on 101 ways to stuff Pocky sticks up arses, we shall direct our attention to a certain mystical magic wind blew into the room and carried the forgotten letter lying on the table out of the window.

And so, when Neji finally finished his Pocky lecture and Lee is trembling and clutching his butt, Neji noticed that his letter was missing.

"Lee…..have you seen my letter?"

"Huh? You mean the one lying on the table?"

"Yes, that one" Neji begin looking around the room to see where he might have dropped it.

Lee had a concentrating look on his face, narrowing his eyebrows together so that it looked like one HUGE monobrow.

"Wait….when you telling me about 'No. 89: Use tweezers to push the Pocky in, so your hands won't be dirtied' I think I saw it fly out the window"

Neji looked out the wide open window that Lee had leapt in through. He saw the glimmering white envelope on the pathway outside, and a dark haired boy slowly bending down to pick the letter up.

Fighting an internal urge to shout out "IT'S MY LETTER!!" then reconsidering quickly because if the boy outside had known that it was his, he might read it anyway, then he would know that Tenten liked Neji and referred to him as "Cute Fluffy White-Eyed Angel".

So in the 10 seconds that Neji was stressing and pulling his silky hair out, the dark haired boy outside, namely Uchiha Sasuke was smirking and reading the letter:

_Dear Cute Fluffy White-Eyed Angel,_

_My love, my heart turns flip-flops and goes dokun dokun whenever I think about you, sometimes it feels as turbulent as a thunderstorm and sometimes if feels like a ball has just hit me over the head, causing this crazy head over heels in love feeling. I just want you to LOVE LOVE LOOOOOOOOOVE me forever, because I love you like Chouji loves cake!! _

_Xoxo, Princess Tenten_

_(AN: Bits of this love letter was copied from the Ouran High School Host Club Manga Vol.1, because I simply can't write a love letter T.T) _

Sasuke chuckled internally, the Uchiha just doesn't laugh out loud.

Whoever wrote this letter was a completely illiterate idiot. But he was mildly curious to know who "Cute Fluffy White-Eyed Angel" could possibly be. He was going to find Tenten and ask her about it. Folding the letter and putting it in his bum pocket, Sasuke begin to skip……ahem….WALK off to find Tenten, thinking about who Cute Fluffy White-Eyed Angel was and when he finds out he was gonna tease the crap outta him.

_(AN: Yes, I know Sasuke's little white shorts don't HAVE a bum pocket, but for now he will, don't argue . )_

* * *

"Oh he took it with him….." said Lee watching Sasuke out the window while Neji was finally recovering from his internal war. 

Poor Neji, nothing was going right for him today.

"Ah damit, I've got to get that letter back before he asks Tenten and finds out I'm Cute Fluffy White-Eyed Angel!!!

"WTF!? Cute Fluffy White-Eyed Angel!? You!?"

Neji had completely forgotten that Lee didn't know the content of that letter.

_Lee must be destroyed! _

He turned and walked into the kitchen then returned with 2 items.

He came back into the room with a tweezer in one hand and a packet of extra large chocolate Pocky in the other.

Lee looked at him.

"Huh?"

"Lee, I'm sorry"

* * *

Sasuke was almost approaching Tenten's residence, he was still thinking about that horribly hilarious love letter, with an amused smile playing on his face. 

_At least he's NEVER received a love letter quite so embarrassing…_

While Sasuke was happily occupied in his own thoughts, Cute Fluffy White-Eyed Angel was following a few metres behind him.

_(Neji: YOU'RE SO MEAN!! I'm not cute damit!!_

_Author: Yes you are!!!! evil chuckle)_

He could see the corner of the letter sticking out of Sasuke's bum pocket, Neji quickly devised a plan on how to get the letter back.

He couldn't ASK Sasuke for the letter, that's the same as yelling at Sasuke "I'M THE CUTE FLUFFY ANGEL".

He couldn't possible ambush him, because the Sasuke could put up a pretty good fight,

He'd just have to get it back _sneakily_.

Neji snuck up right behind Sasuke, as inconspicuous as possible, concentrating on the Uchiha's fine tight arse……

_WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING!! _

Neji blushed madly, causing him to loose concentration and stumble. Instinctively, he stuck his hands out in front of him to steady himself, only to find that instead on feeling the hard firm ground, his hands are on the soft, round, plump buttocks of the absolutely bewildered Uchiha.

The Uchiha stared at him.

Neji prise his fingers off Sasuke butt.

_WTF!?WTF!?WTF!?_

* * *

Broken Illusion: **REVIEW PLEASE!**

Neji-chan: DON'T GIVE THAT PERVERT REVIEWS!!!

Broken Illusion: Now, now, YOU'RE the one that touch Sasuke's bum bum -smirks-

Neji-chan: -blushes- GO AND DIE!

Sasuke-chan: I feel…….violated……


End file.
